Saturday, September 15, 2012

Fox proves (again) that it is neither fair nor balanced...

My unlikely Republican readers:

Please tell me how you could possibly side with the RNC and further explain how Fox isn't a propaganda factory that is far more aggressive and unfair than MSNBC, CNN or any other new organization could ever dream...

No seriously, watch this clip and explain to me how Fox is EVER consistent, fair, and above all, right...

How is it that Fox thinks that  no one will notice this? The Daily Show appeals to a wide range of the young, educated and ambitious... and Fox is for old fucks? What chance do you have for the future?

"I think Fox just found a new slogan: Just Shut Up and Watch..."- Jon Stewart

Please educate me...

I will warn you. If you are stupid in your response I will exploit it...


Sunday, September 9, 2012

The American Opiate Open Letter to Ann Coulter

Like with my open letter to Rick Dick Santo- there is little chance of you ever reading this entry. You're a busy gal and are likely not to give two shits about what an angry blog has to tell you. That being said, it's important to note that most open letters are rarely written JUST for the subject in mind. I hope that the following finds a way to you or at the very least, a fan of yours...

It must be very tough to be you. Being the female voice-piece of the Conservative Right, and also keeping an image that Republican women can hold their own in a media dominated by men that secretly would rather see you in the kitchen or on your knees. These things are all in a days work. The stage of your show might also feel like the most unforgiving grade school talent show when you can't speak as reckless and irresponsible as the First Amendment allows. You poor dear.

All this pressure might have accrued into a thirsty rage in need of a quenching from a mimosa or two. After all, the Republican National Convention, while a great battle cry against Obama, dramatically fell short. I could rake through liberal-biased reviews for hours on what went wrong (like no mention of GW Bush or the troops) but I got shit to do and you probably don't care. Clint Eastwood talking to an empty chair was the highlight and that's where I rest my case. The night belonged to a the Right but it went wrong by fizzling out; looking like a festival of contradiction. This is all preaching to the choir since you are the poster "lady" of the Republicans. You saw all the spectacle.

So when those Democrats pulled out all the stops and delivered their lineup of colorful figures, inspirational speeches, and catchy slogans Republicans had sorely lacked- it must have hurt your pride. How dare they upstage your allies?!

As all this unfolded before your eyes and stirred your inner child. But this was no ordinary mentality of adolescence. It was the kind that most keep inside and only imagine they could say. The average TV viewer gets to flip off the screen, cuss out loud, or make that amusing "jerk off" hand motion (C'mon you've made that gesture, am I right!?). But alas, you were low on options and no amount of jeering could break through the thunderous applause. In the face of a lost battle you turned to twitter.

 “Bill Clinton just impregnated Sandra Fluke backstage” Defamation.

 “They’re spicing things up with a live abortion on stage!" That's low, Ann.

“To get Bill Clinton to speak at the convention, Obama had to agree to carry his bags.” Racist?

  “Monica Lewinsky somewhere, sobbing, clutching stained dress and eating Haagen Das by the Tv light… Four cats yawning.” 
Who were you trying to dig into there?
Judging by these tweets, it sounds like you spent the night clutching a bottle of Hooch.

Apparently, no one hijacked your twitter account and posted this nonsense on your name; this was YOU! Ann Coulter: the law graduate, author of several books and political pundit. Had your name not been attached to these, I would have sworn this to be a drunk, high school conservative. Tweets like these beg to question your integrity and call for an examination by the American people if you know at all what you're talking about. And this time you can't blame the liberal media- it's all you. 

This isn't the first time you've been ballsy with your words because you are a repeat offender. You have the right to speak your mind which is the most important right we have under our Constitution. What you've failed to realize is that the public has lost more faith in whether they can take you seriously or not. You might be feeling as if you've been castrated by the liberal media, but the fast is this: you throw yourself under the bus almost all the time. May I also point out the most un-American things you've ever said:
How in the Hell can you call yourself a patriot? Do you love America at all?

Lets look at your take on our troops:
"No wonder you guys lost!" To a disabled Vietnam war vet and head of the Vietnam Veterans or America foundation.

What is your thought on Muslims around the world?
"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." Oh! Because that worked so well in the Crusades. Have you EVER read a history book?

You've refused to be mature on the issues and it isn't just yourself that you make look bad. Think about all of the upstanding Republican women that aren't as irresponsible and stupid as you. With every unwarranted slander you utter, you set a negative stereo of real women that believe in being civil and reserved, rather than just loud and glib.

Didn't you write a book years ago about slander and how the liberal media uses it to smear your colleagues? Oh yeah, you did and it was called "Slander". Are you going to write a book entitled "Hypocrite" as well, or how about "Vulgar" or "Bitch"? Better for me to ask, did you even write that book?

The list can go on and if you keep this up, it will. Seeing Bill Clinton must have felt like a kick to the nuts- but your tweet “Bill Clinton just impregnated Sandra Fluke backstage” made it only look like the Republican Conservatives were jealous of those glory days when Bubba was Commander and Chief. 

But the slander you serve isn't just from the recent DNC; it gets worse the more people view your CV. Calling John Edwards a "faggot"? What are you, a frat boy? Grow up! You're a lawyer and you're representing women; you should act accordingly. Women have worked very hard fighting a system that would otherwise keep them in the kitchen all their lives and you respect none of that by viciously foaming at the mouth that they're all "Godless" liberals.

Maybe living in the bubble of Fox News has blinded you, but a lot of people think you're full of shit. This (again) is not liberal slander- I actually HEAR that from other Republicans. And none of them will apologize for it because you have yet to show any sign of mature humility in regards to the things you've said over the years. That is simply childish. In response, you'll even try to throw the left wing under the bus and accuse them of saying far worse than you do and to that I have only this to say:

Attention Maddow! please put Ann on MSNBC.
The day when Racheal Maddow calls you a "cunt" on MSNBC, will be the moment libs owe you an apology.

(for more Mann Coulter madness scroll below the blog for the Youtube video bar of Ann's greatest bloopers)

Monday, September 3, 2012

Really, Mr Akin?

I am not a woman so I cannot really give a comment to what they feel when they're raped, or pregnant with no or limited options. Regardless of this- there is nothing but pure rage in me when MEN attempt to speak on a woman's behalf, especially when it comes to sore subjects, like equality or their rights. A man, whether Conservative or Liberal, has no business trying to define rape towards a woman. Todd Akin has recklessly and without forethought said that any woman that has been "legitimately" raped her reproductive organs will shut down a pregnancy. There is no medical evidence that proves this at all. It was simply said in the vein to take a cheap stab at pro-choice advocates and progressive women.     

What I am about to state might sound sexist but I don't fucking care. NO MAN has any right to talk about what rape is, what makes it legitimate, or how a woman should birth and keep a rape baby. When a man goes to prison, gets held down and impregnated by a fellow inmate then he can talk some shit, but that isn't going to happen. 

Its become clear that sexist Republican males like Mr. Akin have declared war on women's rights because they only want women to fulfill 1 role: cooking, cleaning, and cranking out babies. True Story.