Saturday, July 7, 2012

Devaluing a car: The right wing's bumper sticker agenda

In 2008 the words "Change" became a slogan rather than just a vague verb. As our nation moved ever so gratefully away from George W Bush, we became enamored with a candidate that seemed  to be from the future. As this man climbed the top of the poles higher, his goal of becoming the first Black American leader of the (formerly) most powerful country in the world was quickly taking shape. Barack Obama was and is this man and regardless of what many thought would happen, he was never assassinated, never once declared slavery to Whites, and still has yet to ruin our country like many were scared would happen...

But don't tell that to his opponents; they're still selling kool-aid to their constituency. (actually suicide mixers done by religious cults were made with Flavor-aid, but forgive me for doing a little more homework). So when I drive on my way to work, why does my head nearly shake off its stump when I see the sticker that reads: I didn't drink the Kool-Aid in 2008?

And yet Obama still won, I think you should ask for a refund.
Talk about sore losers; Obama wins fair and square and a mass suicide seemed to be on Rush Limbaugh's mind. It seems like proof that those who accepted the win and wished him the best were better off dead as far as Douche Limbaugh was concerned. We do know for a fact that Rush's excessive addiction to pills would render him immune to a poisonous cup of go-to-sleep-forever, which adds greater emphasis on his blackened and negative heart.

Here is another gem that conjures a knee-jerk "no fucking way" reaction: The bumper sticker displaying Bush's face accompanied by a caption reading: "Do you miss me yet?".
No, Bush. Stay in Texas. Forever.

Okay, let me think on the 8 year portfolio of Bush.

9th grade level public speeches
The war in Iraq
Jobs lost
Raising Anti Gay Bigotry
Darth Cheney
Gas prices hikes
Etc ... you know the rest. C'mon people, it wasn't THAT long ago.

Regardless of whether or not these things were Bush's fault or not (I blame more his following for all those things), these are not things that I am missing. However much this bumper sticker printer made in profit is irrelevant, it was money made off of idiots looking to willingly deface their Hummers. I would hope that no matter what side of the fence you stand on, this question of missing the dumbest commander and chief in our nation's history could be the ultimate test of one's memory.

Oh and my answer is, of course, No.

No politician gives a shit about your car, pickup truck, or SUV and a thin layer of resin pasting a blind faith message of what you believe isn't going to matter when shit really goes wrong. Did our founding fathers use wheat paste and hemp paper to proudly display it's independence on horse carts? No, they didn't because they were ballsy and such displays of support are  fucking stupid and will be no matter what age. Actions speak more loudly, as we all know. Although Thomas Jefferson might have liked the sticker that reads: Once ye goes black, ye never goes back.
 (No offense to my only 1 black reader of this entry, but that's funny and you know it!)

The Obama bumper sticker removal kit:
Perfect for undecided, flip-flopping pussies!

As the term of Obama has rolled on, his bumper stickers have been getting harder to find. This is due to the amazingly high level of cowardice that dumb people have when they felt like all the good things that were supposed to happen under Obama didn't happen immediately. Sharper cookies know that change isn't something that happens quickly and the sticker on your car doesn't usher it, there must be real action. There also needs to be fewer Republicans on capital hill blocking every proposal. If you seriously removed your bumper sticker due to pure embarrassment, then remove your balls as well.

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