Thursday, August 9, 2012

Law and Disorder: Does the one create the other?

Throughout America's 236 plus history, laws have been proposed, passed, enforced, changed and/or repealed. Most of our laws make perfect sense to have like not killing people, not stealing, not having sex with kids or people who say "No thanks, you're ugly.". There are, of course, laws that are ridiculous and unenforceable wastes of time and resources. For example, in Florida it is illegal to sell your children; apparently that must have been a problem. A lot has been written about our country's dumbest laws, and most of this material is best left for the Hallmark book section to be given as a gift to your politically up to speed grandfather on his birthday. If you want an even more expansive list of American wastes of time made into laws then go for GOOGLE .

Politicians on the hill and/or over the hill have been trying to past for 2 centuries as a means of controlling the public or in efforts to appease the masses that voted them into office. While most lawmakers are simply reacting to a situation that requires stiff and decisive action most of the time they're only making a biased statement against something they find wrong based only on opinions. Every year, millions of taxpayer dollars are wasted on the writing, voting, passing and enforcement of rules that were made only because a small group of people found something offensive.

Other laws are made because major smear campaigns are conducted when certain interests were threatened. If you haven't noticed big business loves making laws in good order to keep laughing to the bank. Anyone that is someone in America knows that William Randolph Hearst ran the charge to make Marijuana illegal because hemp would have been an inexpensive source to make paper, and that would have killed his profits in the timber business. He won because-as we all know- money talks and bullshit walks.

To this day, a man sitting on his ass all day, doing bong hits and watching cartoons is an immoral threat to society... keep telling yourself that and it might become true. 

Politicians and religious groups take the cake in the proposal of some of the most nonsense and unjust laws ever. When political figures make laws its rarely to protect and serve. Even worse, most of the laws made never create jobs and actually are financial and moral black holes. Don't believe me? Then just Wiki "Prohibition" and read about how the moral majority helped the growth of the mob. Everything in our constitution is centered around expanding the freedom of the greatest country in the world EXCEPT for Prohibition. Imagine in the 1920's looking at our amendments and suddenly seeing the inconsistency of the Volstead Act; you can say whatever you want and shoot guns but don't drink.

So with the Religious right-wing constantly on the offense against your free will and happiness, I choose to make a few points to better inform the world of the possible consequences of creating such laws. What kind of laws you might ask? Let us explore this.

Alabama lawmaker, hard at work
 You can't buy a dildo in 'Bama:
Believe it or not the state of Alabama you can't sell sex toys or purchase them. The state were women could probably use them most because their husbands are likely oppressive, redneck assholes. The law actually forbids pleasure, the kind of pleasure that harms no one, creates children and keeps couples together. If the sole purpose of a dildo was to shove it into the ass of an unsuspecting person against their will, I would understand- but we all know that is not the case. Alabama: still a host of "white only" proms and social events also takes the liberty of deciding how you have sex, even when you're alone.

New York: home of the slightly smaller Big Gulp: 
Announced recently, New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg, wants to place a ban on sodas that are sized 16 ounces or larger. No shit, people; this is real. While so far, the law has not been passed as of yet, all that would have to be done is for someone to cry out "public health" and viola, the 7-11 staple becomes illegal. I really don't care to go into all the reasons as to why such a proposal was even considered because I value my personal sanity. New York with all of its homelessness, muggers, pimps, crackwhores, escorts, drug dealers, and $2,500 studio apartments, yet, somehow the giant, bladder-busting soda will destroy the city. What-the-fuck-ever.

Does anyone have a gym sock and a roll of tape?
Michelle Bachmann's deep throat:
Its no secret that "old crazy eyes" Michelle Bachmann is a bat-shit insane conspiracy theorist. Currently she is trying to throw a middle eastern woman under the bus, accusing her of being a member of the Muslim Brotherhood because... she's brown, and Bachmann really doesn't need the facts. Along with being incredibly stupid, she also promised to ban pornography.

and now it is time for...

Life? Liberty? Pursuit of happiness?
What are you a liberal?
Arguing against Gang-Banners:
Now this is a subject all in itself, as porn has been on the docks for banning since the first caveman drew a picture of him and his cave gal fucking on a cave wall in the year "1". Watching people do God's funnest activity is the reason most people have sex. Its not immoral, its good advertising.

The day porno becomes illegal is the day that all federal regulation on the art goes away. Currently, in order to produce porn there are rules: the actors and models must be 18 and you cannot portray them as younger. The performers also can't pretend they're being raped or actually be getting raped on camera. And lets not forget that you cannot film the porn stars pleasuring animals. Some of these rules are bent by many porn companies and they suffer consequences for breaking those laws.  Point is, the legit porn industry is thriving and not going away, there are too many closet case perverts in politics and churches that are supporting the art.

So if and when porn gets made illegal, the black market will catch up in short order. I don't know if you're aware, but the black market of ANY industry follows no codes, rules, or laws. The black market porn industry will rape children and record it with no second thought and those who put the laws of banning pornography in place will be partly responsible for this.

If you choose not to believe me then consider this: Pot is illegal... still, and guess what: People can obtain it easier than they can buy beer. Pot dealers do not ask for ID's, and won't refuse you if you are already stoned. Ganja sellers pay no taxes for sales and operate everywhere regardless of who is president or what proposals get signed into law. People smoke pot every day and as long as they don't get caught by the pigs, they'll continue to do so.

Its clear to see: ban something, and then anything goes- so the problem actually gets worse.

We don't need more laws, the ones that are the most important are already established, like not killing, raping or stealing. We also don't need to enforce a law on the size of a fucking soda because its is a total waste of taxpayer dollars. I, as well as millions of Americans are sick to our back teeth of getting parking tickets while real criminals continue to make meth, molest kids, and murder the innocent. Real crooks on Wall Street and in Washington are getting away with illegally depleting our resources, but apparently that isn't as bad as smoking a harmless plant that makes you hungry, happy, and sleepy.

If you are offended by porn, violence on TV, or Howard Stern jerking it on the radio, then why not exercise the most important freedom we have and change the fucking channel. Don't waste our money and time on stupid laws that eventually get disobeyed.

So to conclude this piece, heed my words and please think before you vote. Because there are some people  out there that even want to ban the simple and natural act of jacking off, and if you're begging for me to prove it- then check out this totally "not a witch" conservative try to make you feel bad about waxing your carrot:

If God didn't want you to do it, he would have made your arms shorter

If this video doesn't work, then ridiculous SOPA laws went into effect and my point was further proven.

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